一年的母性

4

On Halloween of 2015 I had my fortune told. I asked what the next year would hold for me. The card reader was none too pleased with my broad and vague question. I’m not an especially emotive person I’ve been told and it means these readings tend to go awry as I don’t give much for them to react to. She started talking about a male figure who would be a strong presence in my life and as there wasn’t anyone I could connect it to she suggested maybe it was god. Hard no there. I love a good tarot reading but felt this one was bunk for me.

必威安卓客户端下载有时候在读书后,我怀孕了,有一个剖析的男性的孩子。过去一周我的宝宝变成了一个。

这是真的,一年是广阔的时间,难以定义。时间似乎用婴儿溜走了它的轴;日子通过如此慢,但你眨眼,整个月过去了。你总是展望里程碑,同时感受到奇怪的艾尼西亚,当事人发生了。

当我仍然在产假时,我试图写一些东西,但它变成了一个未完成的句子和想法。我的疲惫跑得很深,我无法思考,更不用说写。我知道这个前几个月会很难,但我不知道我会感受到多么彻底摧毁。在每两小时醒来之间,从出生中恢复和随着它的任何营养素和任何营养素的激烈洪水以母乳的形式,我觉得自己就像自己一样。

为我社区有一个新生的重申is necessary. I wish our lives weren’t isolated as much as they are in this modern world. Communal living, which I’ve always been interested in, makes even more sense now than it did before. Having people around right after I gave birth was essential for me. I felt isolated and alone, especially after Shawn went back to work, and having people visit, even just being around and not doing anything, made a world of difference. I desperately wanted to be around other adults but getting out at the beginning was hard and I could never figure out the timing of getting to certain mom groups or was too nervous to go. There was something deeper though, even now, where being a single family alone still feels sort of wrong, like we should be connected with others.

I’m thankful that I was able to find a community online to connect with. They saved my sanity and answered my inane questions for the many months when I had no idea what I was doing. They helped support me when I felt disconnected from everything from my life before. There were so many times when I was trapped under a baby when I was still able to check in with my people on my phone and I’m not sure how people managed before without that. I suppose they had friends and neighbors who might drop by in real life. Or they were just lonely.

Friends warned me how hard breastfeeding would be. I’m not hardline about any parenting strategy in particular so I had already made peace with the possibility of using formula despite the rhetoric of breastfeeding being the way and the light. Yet when we struggled from the beginning I could not let it go. I toiled through weeks of pain and things just not working, hours of being attached to machines and not able to just cuddle my baby, meeting with expensive consultants and taking hard to get medications, just because there’s this idea that breastmilk is magic and not just food. I cried a lot. I felt like I was in a limbo because I wanted to give up but I was afraid of feeling like a failure and never being able to turn back that decision.

只要我能够,我基本上就在努力抽水成为无用的锻炼之前。只要我在这种情况下,我为自己骄傲地为自己感到骄傲。我忍不住感受到一个懊悔的悔恨,回头看,我可以刚刚完全转换为配方,并有一些自由。现实主义,我不确定我会发现更多的自由,我还在学习如何照顾一个新生儿,但这将是一个不得不做的我所做的一切。或者,我仍然回头看,只是希望工作的东西。他们没有,我可以做任何事情,但我仍然希望有办法。

A lot of people talk about getting back to themselves after they have a kid. At the beginning there was certainly a loss of autonomy and an inability to do the creative things that before felt like they defined me. I would never say that I didn’t feel myself though. To be honest I feel even more myself now as a mother than I felt before. It was if it was always a part of me that I had just been waiting for. This comes as no surprise to me.

该re certainly was an adjustment as things got more manageable, and as I went back to work, to not having as much free time. Overall I don’t mind that much though. I don’t feel like I had expanses of free time before, but rather that I have more to do now and generally do it more efficiently. Creative endeavors are still a struggle but I don’t feel as bad about it. Instead of feeling like I’m letting things slip by, I feel like my time is full and it seems right.

即使是现在,也很难再次与人联系,特别是当我们以前的主要社会形式要去看电影时,这是一个不是特别是宝宝的活动。我将成为第一个承认我仍然略微淹没在母体中,我需要努力再次建立社区。说实话,我从来没有太好制定计划,所以我让自己离开了一点钩子。

I’ve seen my fair share of sexism, overt and otherwise, but having a child has really highlighted the societal ways that women are pushed down. I’m fortunate to have a job that has been understanding of my time off and schedule but just thinking about how men don’t have to deal with many of these things makes my blood boil. Women I know have stayed at bad jobs so they wouldn’t lose their FMLA protections. Others have been fired while pregnant or on leave even though it’s illegal. It is such a hinderance to have to build in a year of work if you want to make any change in your career if you also want to plan to have a child. I took time off to stay home with our son but no one expected Shawn to do the same. It creates an imbalance from the beginning that is hard to correct even in the best of situations. There is a certain level of responsibility that comes with being a gestational parent but I wish culturally that other things were a bit more level. In the current political climate, where it feels like we’re backsliding on women’s rights daily, all of these fears and frustrations have been crystallized.

I’ll try not to end on such a negative note though. Despite the difficulties, having a kid has been an absolute joy. We are still going on adventures and though it takes a bit more planning and a little more travel time it’s been great. Things I’ve always wanted to do (making a halloween costume for my kid for example) have been a delight. All the hard things are offset by exciting firsts and dreams come to fruition.

我不知道这个博客的未来将是什么。我想念有一个写作的地方,但我知道博客与曾经是一样的。我可能不会在育儿期前写很多,因为我肯定没有专家,我对与整个世界的孩子分享有关我孩子的详细信息,我感觉不太满意。我感到反思,并希望在这一年的第一年的情况下,如果没有别的话,这是我的第一年的想法。我期待着将更具创造性的东西纳入我的生活。我迫不及待地等待另一个被子(当它冷却下来时),也许会在过去的项目中分享一些项目。

新的一年

2

我们正在夏天走到秋天,似乎我欠大家更新。我的计划是今年取下这个博客。我几乎没有更新它,它不再觉得我世界的一部分了。我开始想要更多的隐私,同时也有像在当天回来的那样互动并没有那么多的互动。在幕后,取下博客会采取一些工作。归档旧食谱和照片等。我只是没有绕过它。生活就在路上。它不是一个优先事项,就像在这里写新的条目不是一个优先事项。所以我把它锁定了另一天。

在过去的一个月左右,我已经获得了一些读者的电子邮件和笔记,读者询问博客,因为我没有完全删除它,它似乎更好地把它恢复到后代。我很可能不会再更新它了。我已经开始发布来自我们冒险的图像和后台条目必威平台慢宇宙.

然后,我发现自己渴望一个人再写的地方,所以也许我会恢复事情,但没有承诺。

必威体育圣克鲁斯岛背包

3

betway 提款

betway365

betway119

betway 桌球

santa cruz island-11

santa cruz island-9

bet way官网

必威体育圣克鲁斯岛 -  12我已经坐在我的草稿中几个月了几个月,但我仍然没有找到关于我认为这次可爱的旅行所需的动力,我们走到圣克鲁斯。必威体育因此,为了发布它,我将会简短。

I was nervous about this adventure because Santa Cruz island requires not only taking a small boat (I am prone to sea sickness) but also that you carry all your water for your trip. On the other hand, Santa Cruz Island boasted a chance for a secluded backpacking trip and a opportunity to see the native island fox.

我们在初夏和朋友们出去了一夜之间。露营地的徒步旅行相对容易,即使是额外的水。我们花了大多数旅行围绕着我们的露营地放松,并在该地区做了一些较短的徒步旅行。从岛上的景点上有美丽的景色。

在我们早上离开营地之前,我们很幸运能够看到一些娇小的岛屿狐狸。当人们打包他们的东西时,他们显然会显得来撒上露营地。当然,我们没有喂它们,但他们根本没有特别害怕人类。

It is amazing how much this island has been able to come back since it was nearly devestated by human meddling. The island foxes are doing well and they’ve even reintroduced the Bald Eagles after successfully relocating the Golden Eagles that took over their territory.

在船上骑回到内地,我们被对待,看到一个宽敞的海豚豆荚和船一起游。这是一个神奇的方式来结束一个小岛屿度假。

-

第二年的平庸博客已经结束了。我可能很快就会尽快关闭博客,因为我忽略了这么多。如果有的话,我可能会开始一些新的东西,但我发现不太可能。多年来,我喜欢这个自己的这个地方,但它真的很努力。

I’ve been struggling with the internet and social media and such in not being able to show a balanced picture of who I am. I want to share personal things but realize this can be damaging professionally. I’ve also become wary of sharing parts of my personal life on the internet. Conversely, more often than not, I don’t even think I even represent myself in the way that I want to be perceived, as a writer and filmmaker.

除了几个朋友外,我到达这里的大部分访问都是旧食谱。我仍然喜欢制作素食主义食物,但我对开发食谱不感兴趣,也不对我真诚地有时间博客,即使我做过(需要良好的食物照片需要这么多时间!)。还有许多其他有才华横溢的博主覆盖这个领土。

I certainly don’t identify as a blogger any more. There was a time when this was important to me and it was a great way for me to connect with people but that time has passed. I never cared much about having a high ranking blog, just a good one.

这不是再见的。如果有人对他们感兴趣,我可能会在这里放一点电子书。我可能会在其他地方移动某些部分。我有很多决定。我猜,这么久现在,谢谢阅读。

Halloween Movie Marathon #8 and a Moth Costume

2

mothcostumeFor years I’ve wanted to be a moth for Halloween but then Martha Stewart put a moth costume on the cover of her Halloween edition so I had to wait the appropriate mourning time to make a moth costume for myself. I wanted to make something that looked somewhat authentic but didn’t involve having massive wings that would bang into things all night. I opted to make a cozy cape that when held up would look like moth wings. I consulted my dear friend艾琳有关一些令人惊叹的飞蛾的建议(有很多可供选择!)并在Cecropia蛾上定居。在缝制翼披角后,我将设计涂在面料上,添加了一些天线和沉默的黑眼睛,我准备好了。

mothface.我们当然有我们的传统万圣节电影马拉松比赛。几个朋友甚至从德克萨斯州一路走出去,就在那里,随着马拉松运动员的其余TX队伍,都在洛杉矶。我们的地方被包装在边缘,这是一个美好的时光。我们上年有许多零食(我最喜欢的spinach artichoke dip,焦糖玉米,腰母和奶酪和南瓜香料蛋糕)今年还添加了炸玉米饼棒。该菠萝蜜卡尼塔斯当然是一个击中和顶部的东西,我们有詹姆斯和艾米特殊制造的令人惊叹的奶酪酱Spiral Diner.

我们今年终止了一个真正的剧院为我们的最后一组电影来了。我认为更多的人通过今年的整个活动都比任何其他人都做过。

1.认真害怕愚蠢
2. Demons
3.姜扣
4. Wes Craven的新梦魇
5.下降
6.戒指
7. 30天的夜晚
谢伊坦
9. Dead Alive
10. Possession
11. Crimson Peak.
12.鸡皮疙瘩

北加州公路旅行

0

Burney Falls-1场景-5

场景-6

Betway Sports

场景2

场景-1必威安卓客户端下载有时你有一个计划,但那么你有这么多的乐趣,你只是继续驾驶,直到你发现自己处于巨大的美丽的瀑布。这是如此疯狂,北加州多么不同,而不是这种干燥的沙漠。给我所有的苔藓和朦胧的早晨和潮湿的空气。